That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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