Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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