sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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