I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Randomize
