great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Come on in and take your pants off
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