ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
