Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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