She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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