Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize