She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
