Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
