Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
