That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
