So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
