O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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