The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
