he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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