6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
this hospital has no fireball
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
