I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
