Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
