Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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