fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
