I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
