What did we do last night that was yellow?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
