I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
