I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
