Tell her she can't have a vagina
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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