So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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