Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My first STD was from a foam party
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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