pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
