So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
