This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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