Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
