if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Farmville is her only friend.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
