Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
