Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize