Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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