I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
