Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize