this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
