Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
