i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
