YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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