WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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