if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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