? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
worst night to have a conscience
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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