Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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