he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize