the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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