found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
