oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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