Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize