put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
