Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
