i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
