That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
