Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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