My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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