You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I DEMAND FORESKIN
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
