I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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