his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize