At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize